Life transitions simply come with the territory for everybody, but midlife transitions in particular just hit differently (and often all at once). It’s like one day it’s business as usual – work, kids, your relationship, rinse, repeat – and the next it’s just …NOT anymore… leaving you to wonder what the heck happened.
In this article, I’ll dive into everything you need to know about managing life transitions in midlife, including what they can look like and my clinical psychologist and fellow midlifer top strategies on how to cope. We’ll touch on some great resources that can help, too, including my Midlife Reimagined Mastermind. Let’s get started!
Table of Contents
What Are Life Transitions?
Simply put, life transitions are periods of major change that make a lasting impact on your life. They can be planned or unplanned. They can also be exciting, terrifying, welcome, unwelcome, or any combination of those things.
Key life transition examples most people experience at one point or another include:
- Moving to a new place
- Starting a new career (or retiring from one)
- Getting married or divorced
- Having a child or having a child leave home
- The death or loss of a loved one
- Reaching significant age milestones
Some people experience one or more of these major transitions in life early on, while others might not do so until well into midlife or beyond.
Why Are Life Transitions Particularly Tough in Midlife?
According to the CDC, around 23 percent of women aged 40-59 are on antidepressants – the highest percentage associated with any age-sex group.
So, if you sometimes feel like life transitions were just so much easier to manage when you were younger, it’s not your imagination. There are legitimate factors that come into play here, such as:
- The types of life transitions you experience in midlife tend to carry significant changes to roles, labels, and responsibilities that define your identity (e.g. retirement or aging parents needing care).
- Multiple major life transitions often happen simultaneously in midlife, some without warning (e.g., the death of parents or other loved ones).
- Physical obstacles like lower energy levels, chronic health problems and all the fun that comes with menopause throw extra challenges into the mix, sometimes in ways you never expected.
- People sometimes find themselves facing social isolation in midlife, leaving them feeling invisible or like they don’t have enough of a support system.
Plus, stepping into the unknown is always scary. Although we logically know that major transitions in life are simply a part of the experience, a lot of us pictured this particular life phase going …well… differently.
We thought we’d have it all figured out by now or somehow be past things like feeling afraid or unprepared, right?
Instead, it turns out that you’re never too old for those things because they come with the territory for everyone.
What Are Some Common Examples of Life Transitions in Midlife?
Midlife transitions can be either internal (like shifts in core personal values ) or external (like children leaving the nest). However, unlike the life transitions and “first times” you experience when you’re still young, midlife transitions are frequently about “last times” instead – definitely part of what makes them so tough to deal with.
However, it’s important to keep in mind that transitions in life at this age aren’t strictly about loss. They’re also about getting to know who you’ve become over the years, leaning into what you’ve accomplished, and embracing a new cycle of beginnings, just like you did when you were younger.
1. Transition to an empty nest
When your kids were still growing, you probably fantasized about a future where you’d tripped over your last toy or finally reached the bottom of that never-ending laundry pile. Then you realized time moves quickly enough to give you whiplash.
Before you know it, your babies were off creating (and maybe even cleaning up) their own messes somewhere else and your house is silent.
After so many years of living in a full house, that kind of silence can be unsettling, but it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself if you allow it to be.
2. Relationship transitions
By midlife, your important longstanding relationships have almost certainly changed over the years. Not only have your kids grown up but your parents have aged into a different phase of life, too.
Even lifelong friendships and decades-long marriages eventually evolve, which only adds to the uncertainty that hits right about now.
But life transitions also facilitate valuable chances to deepen these relationships, set important boundaries, and get honest with yourself about what you are and aren’t willing to give moving forward.
3. Career transitions
Even if you’re not necessarily thinking “retirement” yet, it’s highly likely you’re still reevaluating your career once you hit midlife. You might even be ready to try something completely new or strike out on your own with a new business idea. It’s all part of the story when it comes to life transitions.
Like other types of transitions, career transitions can potentially be just what you need. It’s never too late to learn something new or try something different and you’re never too old to dream a new dream.
4. Health challenges
Even the healthiest among us aren’t exempt from health issues in midlife. Even if you’ve taken impeccable care of yourself, you’re probably developing aches and pains in body parts that were previously well behaved. (If you haven’t, your hypothetical voicemail is probably full of wake-up calls by now.)
But the good news is even small changes can make a big difference, so why not dive into the opportunity to get to know your body better and rediscover what it’s capable of? Preventative care becomes more important at this age, too.
5. Identify issues
All of the changes that come with midlife might leave you wondering who you are anymore.
And that’s OK.
Transitions in life are also clean slates, and you’re free to write any story you want on them. What will that next chapter find you doing? Who will you be and what will life look like? It’s officially time to find out – and have a blast doing it.
Managing Life Transitions Like a Boss: 6 Strategies for Embracing Change
Ready to take the reins and step into the next chapter of your life with confidence? As a Clinical Psychologist and fellow midlifer, here are my favorite strategies to help get you started in the right direction.
1. Learn the difference between midlife transition vs. midlife crisis
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be a man to have a midlife crisis. But it’s important to understand that a midlife transition and a midlife crisis aren’t the same thing.
A midlife transition is a normal cycle of change and subsequent reevaluation that simply comes with being alive. A midlife crisis is an intensely negative reaction to midlife that often includes complicated negative emotions like regret, stagnancy (feeling “stuck in a rut”), or even regret.
In other words, a midlife transition is a natural change-focused process. A midlife crisis is an extreme emotional reaction to that process. Both are valid experiences. Both can impact behavior, decision-making, and identity.
Everyone experiences life transitions, however, a “midlife crisis” type reaction isn’t nearly as common.
(For additional thoughts on midlife crisis, check out my articles on dealing with a husband in midlife crisis, midlife crisis divorce and stages of midlife crisis.)
2. Lean into the lighter side of life transitions
Midlife transitions are about more than serious conversations and heavy-duty soul-searching. When you take a step back and think about it, they bring some great opportunities to laugh to the table, too.
Seriously, it’s OK to laugh because you caught yourself sounding just like your mother the other day or embrace the humor in just not getting what your kids see in TikTok. (Seriously!!!)
Embrace your quirks and eccentricities. Embrace that you just walked into your bedroom and you have no idea why!
Stay curious, see life as the adventure it continues to be, and laugh at yourself – a lot.
3. Build a solid support system
Just as you’re never too old to be afraid or uncertain about the future, you’re never too old to need support, either. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and keep you inspired. Discover new interests (social hobbies are great for this!), go on interesting dates with your spouse or reconnect with old friends by creating new memories.
Consider some fun new ways to make new connections, as well. If you’re lucky enough to have a social club (like The Trybe) in your community, then you’re all set.
Or consider signing up for an an intensively supportive experience like my Midlife Reimagined Mastermind, where you’ll connect with other women who are going through many of the same challenges you are.
4. Stay curious and adventurous
Although it might not feel like it when you’re in the middle of juggling multiple life transitions, midlife is the perfect time to let your hair down and shake things up a little. Don’t let the fact that midlife can come with a lot of “lasts” stop you from getting excited about experiencing new “firsts.”
Book that purposeful solo trip you’ve always wanted to take. Write that novel you’ve had kicking around in the back of your head for years. Start a new business. Go out and get that bold new haircut you’ve wanted since forever.
Curiosity and a taste for adventure are the secret ingredients to a life well lived.
5. Embrace healthy self-care
Years of taking care of others and being everyone’s favorite problem-solver can leave women in desperate need of a little self-implemented TLC. Consider this the sign you’ve been looking for that it’s time to start giving back to yourself as well as you’ve given to others over the years.
How you approach self-care is completely up to you, but the idea is to nurture yourself inside and out. Start small with little additions to your life like bubble baths, morning yoga (if that’s your thing), or the occasional skydiving session (if that’s your thing).
Make plenty of space in your life for essentials like sleep, exercise, and adequate nourishment, too.
Treat yourself the way you’d treat a loved one in the same position.
And learn to say “no” more often to things that don’t interest you and “yes” to things that do. You’ve earned it and you deserve it.
6. Your Midlife, Your Choice: Rock Life Transitions Your Way
Navigating life transitions in midlife only feels like completely unchartered territory. There are millions of women out there just like you who are going through the same process and managing similar feelings. And guess what? All of them are figuring everything out as they go along, just like you are.
Keep in mind that this is your life… your story. Now is the perfect time to make that next chapter as exciting, unusual, or peaceful as you like. Dive in and embrace the experience for the chaotic, exciting experience that it is!
If you need help, I’m here. Reach out.
I'm Dr. Angela Caveney. I'm a Clinical Psychologist, Neuropsychologist, Founder of The Trybe Women's Social Club and leader of the Midlife Reimagined Mastermind.
If you are interested in learning more about the Mastermind or in creating a community of your own, reach out to me at angela@the-trybe.com to start the conversation.
