How to Build a Strong Social Support Network in Midlife

If you’re like many of us, midlife brings the realization that whereas we’ve already figured out so much, there’s still so much more to learn. It’s a turning point – a moment to recognize that the next chapter of your journey is just beginning, and reinvention may be on the horizon.

Maybe you’re switching careers or thinking about the next step now that your children are grown (or close to it). You’re almost certainly looking at some serious shifts in your major relationships, making a strong support system more important than ever.

In this article, I’ll review my top strategies for building social support systems that truly deliver (including exploring resources like Midlife Mastermind Reimagined). Let’s dig in!

What Is a Support Network?

A support network is pretty much exactly what it sounds like – a group of social connections to folks who have your back no matter what. Your personal support network may include lifelong friends, your partner, online mentors, and other supportive humans you meet through social clubs and various communities.

Really, these people can be anyone who consistently meets you where you are at and reminds you that you’re not alone – regardless of what you’re going through.

Strong social support systems are often eclectic mixes of people who just plain make your life better. They’re there for you when life decides to throw you one of its curveballs (and it never runs out of curveballs, no matter how old you get). They can also be amazing sources of wisdom and laughter, right when you need it most.

Why Do I Need a Support Network?

Before we dive into the nitty-gritty of how to create a strong support system, let’s get real about why having one is so important in the first place.

Midlife can be an exciting time in our lives, but let’s face it. It can be a weird time, as well. One minute you feel wise and are thinking, “I’ve totally got this.” The next, you’re feverishly Googling for answers as far as how much sleep you really need and whether it’s time to start taking a calcium supplement.

The right social support system can help you with all of this in so many ways, including the following.

Navigating your way through life’s big changes

Aging parents, major career shifts, empty nest syndrome (I could go on and on and…) – common midlife challenges like these can knock even the most grounded person for a loop. Having supportive people you can vent to or ask for advice from can make all the difference.

Keeping you inspired and on track

Whether midlife currently finds you retooling your health habits or breaking out of a years-long rut and embracing new hobbies, there’s nothing like a cheerleader or two to keep you inspired and moving in the right direction. Friends make everything better, even when it comes to things that are already lots of fun.

Keeping loneliness at arm’s length

If you sometimes find yourself feeling lonely, you’re far from alone. According to The Cigna Group, more than half of American adults – 58 percent, to be exact – feel lonely. Loneliness is linked to various health issues, including mental health conditions like depression and anxiety.

That means that even if you’re a super introverted person who cherishes her own company, there’s still such a thing as too much alone time. A robust support system full of great people ensures that a friendly face is never further away than a quick phone call or email.

Think of your social support network as your own personal dream team. Whether you’re in need of a listening ear or even just someone to call you out and keep you in check as needed, it’s there.

How to Build a Strong Support System in Midlife

Now it’s time to get to the good stuff – how to build a support system that truly serves you as you continue your efforts to reinvent yourself. Because support is about more than simply having people around to help you when you need it. It’s about fortifying your life with the right people and building a network that’s there for you in the right ways. Here are some suggestions to get you started.

Figure out what you need

Before you start adding members to your support squad, it’s important to zero in on what you actually want and expect from a social support network. Consider your answers to questions like the following:

• Do I just want some fun people to do things with now and then, or am I looking for serious social support, as well?
• Do I want to cultivate deep soul sister-style friendships, casual connections that are just plain fun, or something in between?
• Do I need someone I can feasibly turn to for actionable career or life advice?

Decide what feels like it’s missing in your life. Then get to work on closing some of those gaps.

Reconnect with your current MVPs

As we coast into midlife, it’s not uncommon to realize friendships have taken a back seat to building a career, raising a family, or any number of other priorities. But there’s no time like the present to get things back on track.

So, send your bestie that text you’ve been putting off. No elaborate explanations necessary! Just let her know you’ve been thinking about her and would love to get together for a coffee soon. Midlife is a great time to reconnect with old friends, as well. You’ll likely find that they’re just as willing as you are to pick up right where you left off.

Add some new recruits to your roster

I get it. Making friends in midlife can feel seriously challenging, but it doesn’t have to. The process of making friends gets a lot more intuitive when you’re out and about, doing things that are likely to connect you with like-minded people.

Social hobbies and social events are both excellent ways to meet new people.

So sign up for that pottery class or wine tasting workshop you’ve been meaning to check out. Get involved in your community or volunteer for a cause that speaks to you. Activities like these are great for your soul. They’re also a solid way to put yourself in spaces where friendships naturally happen.

There’s no secret handshake you need to know or code to crack. Just show up, be yourself, and see what happens.

Make nurturing social connections a top priority

Making new friends or reconnecting with existing ones is one thing. Keeping those connections strong and healthy is another matter entirely.

Life has a way of getting busy, even if you’re retired and all the kids are out of the house. But all friendships and social connections need attention if they’re going to thrive and grow. Here are some tips to try:

• Check in regularly. Even just a quick “How’s your week been?” is often enough to keep important connections strong when you truly don’t have the time to spend going “deeper”.
• Don’t just talk about how you should get together soon. Actually make plans, and then follow through with them. A social support network can only thrive when it’s full of people who make it a point to show up.
• Remember that support goes both ways. This is the ‘ole “golden rule” and hopefully goes without saying… To HAVE good friends, you have to BE a good friend.

Making friends in midlife doesn’t have to be rocket science, but neither does keeping them. It’s all about consistency and a willingness to show up when it really matters.

Explore online communities and social clubs

Regardless of how it feels at times, the internet is good for more than just cat videos and hilarious memes. It’s also a great place to start building a support network or fleshing out an existing one with a few new additions.

The internet is full of groups, communities, and spaces specially designed for women in midlife who are looking to reinvent themselves in positive new ways. Some options to look into include but aren’t necessarily limited to:

• Social media groups focused on your interests (e.g. writing, personal growth, travel, etc.)
• Support groups and social clubs that are all about reinvention, life transitions, or both
• Online mentorship programs capable of offering amazing professional guidance

My Midlife Reimagined Mastermind program is an especially solid option to consider if you’re interested in unlocking the best possible version of yourself and like the idea of leveraging radical accountability to do it. We show up, we support each other, we take action, and we hold each other accountable, as well.

Get comfortable asking for help

If you’re like many (particularly women) going through midlife, you were probably conditioned to equate being your best with taking up as little space as possible. You were likely also taught to put other people’s needs before your own, to “people please” your way through life, and to feel inadequate when you couldn’t do that.

But while there’s nothing wrong with having a generous heart and caring about other people, it’s time to understand that it’s OK to need, want, and ask for help when you need it. Repeat after me: “Asking for help is STRENGTH, not a shortcoming.”

So, whether reaching out and asking for a hand up when you need it looks like going to a therapist, confiding in a trusted friend, or leaning into the right social club, it’s OK to need other people. Leaning on others when you need them doesn’t make you weak or burdensome. It makes you human.

You Deserve a Support System That Feels Supportive

Although midlife looks different for everyone, as our lives evolve, it’s not uncommon for us to realize that what used to serve us no longer does. This is just as much the case with social support systems as with anything else.

Now is the time to take a long look at where you are socially. Keep and nurture what’s working.

Discard what isn’t.

Fill in the gaps with exciting new possibilities and amazing green-flag friendships that get you excited about being social again.

Midlife is a grand adventure with the potential to take you anywhere. Build your support system today and explore what’s next together!