Moving to and making friends in a new city can be overwhelming and isolating, regardless of age. However, building a new social community in midlife can present even greater challenges.
When we were younger, we had school and college to introduce us to new people when we relocated. As young parents, we found friendship through our children’s schools and activities. When we moved to a new city back then…? No problem! We were immediately and naturally connected to new networks of people through our kids.
Now, in midlife, we may no longer have these common avenues for friendship available to us.
So, how do we meet people in a new city as an adult? Although it’s not as easy as it once was, the good news is that, with some effort, there are many great ways to start making new connections and get our social lives back on track.
Here are my top 14 tips for meeting people in a new city:
Table of Contents
1. Make Friends by Joining a Social Club
The fastest and easiest way to find friends in a new city is to join a social club.
One of the hardest things about making friends in a new city is breaking into existing social circles. Often, the people you encounter in your new city are friendly, but their friendships are well established and they are not particularly interested in putting much effort into making new friends.
Well organized social clubs solve this problem because they are, by design, full of people who are actively looking for new friendships.
The Trybe Women’s Social Club was created specifically to help middle aged women find friendship and community through structured group experiences. The Trybe provides the friends and the fun…you just have to say “yes” to yourself and show up!
2. Meet People In A New City By Getting To Know Your Neighbors
When you move to a new neighborhood, it’s important to make an effort to get to know your neighbors (and it’s surprising how many people do not do this).
Getting to know those who live closest to you not only helps you feel more at home and gives you the opportunity to potentially make lifelong connections…but it can be incredibly helpful just on a practical level (for example if you’re out of town when a big storm blows through).
One great way to start getting to know your neighbors is by inviting them to a casual housewarming party. Over a few hours, and perhaps a couple of glasses of wine, you’ll have a genuine chance learn a great deal about them.
This takes some planning and a bit of work, but it’s well worth it, so make the effort and get the ball rolling!
3. Find Friends in a New City by Walking and Hanging Out
Walking around your new neighborhood is a fantastic way to meet new people, get exercise and improve your mood all at once. As you walk, smile at and say “hi” to everyone you pass.
Stop and spend some time at a local hang out, such as your local coffee shop.
Even better, get a dog! (Or…foster a dog for a local animal shelter.) You’ll meet all the dog owners who live nearby surprisingly quickly. (These new friends will probably remember your dog’s name before they remember yours, but at least it’s a step in the right direction!)
4. Meet People in a New City by Exploring Hobbies
Are you a cooking enthusiast or do you love to hike? Are you an avid reader? Love movies? Chances are there are others in your city who have the same hobbies and interests as you.
We’ve all heard of book clubs, but there are so many other social hobby and club options! A quick internet search can help you find local groups and clubs that cater to your specific interests. These groups often have regular meetings where members can gather and enjoy activities together. It’s a fantastic way to meet new people who share your passions while also acquiring new skills and expanding your knowledge.
Don’t hesitate to join these groups. Who knows, your new BFF might already be there waiting for you to show up!
5. Make Friends in a New City by Bonding with New Co-Workers
Think about it. You already share something with colleagues. You interact daily. Take some time to learn more about them. Mentally consider turning colleagues into new friends to be part of your new job. Invite a colleague for lunch, a drink after work or to watch a play.
If your employer/business doesn’t already offer any adult group activities, start something yourself. Because you are already spending so much time together day to day at your job, before you know it, you’ll feel like old pals.
6. Business Networking Events are Perfect for Meeting New People
Business networking activities are (by design) an excellent way to meet new people. Many business owners are very well “plugged in” to their communities and can likely introduce you to other people who share your interests.
You might be surprised by how many business networking activities there are in your local area – from coffee socials to conferences to workshops. (If an online search doesn’t help you find these types of events, try checking your local Chamber of Commerce calendar.)
Be sure to attend events frequently throughout the year because you will meet new people every time you attend.
7. Ask Your Current Friends To Help You Make Friends In A New City
Moving to a city with no friends and trying to make new connections in a new place can be intimidating, but you can leverage your existing network of old friends to make this process much easier. Reach out people you already know and and ask them if they know anyone in your new location. These connections can include mutual friends, family members, colleagues, old friends or even online acquaintances. (Ideally, your mutual connection will provide a positive recommendation and vouch for your character, increasing the likelihood that the new person will be open to getting to know you.)
8. Meet New People Via a Gym, Yoga Studio or Fitness Classes
Regular exercise not only has physical benefits, but can also improve your psychological well-being and help you meet people in a new city. Joining a gym or fitness class is a great way to stay active while also connecting with others who share similar interests.
From yoga classes to group workouts, there are plenty of options to choose from. You can even try out local sports clubs or participate in a recreational team for some friendly competition. Don’t be afraid to explore different classes or activities until you find at least one that suits you best.
9. Volunteer to Make Friends in Your New Town
To quickly meet friends in a new city, consider volunteering in your new community.
Not only does volunteering create new friendships and help you learn valuable skills, it will also provide you with a sense of purpose and connection to something larger than yourself. Getting involved is easy.
There are countless ways to contribute, from helping to stock the local food pantry to volunteering for your neighborhood HOA. Start by reaching out to local non-profit organizations and reading local publications.
Websites like VolunteerMatch can also help connect you with local opportunities.
10. Meet New People by Checking Out Cultural Events
Cultural events offer fantastic opportunities to broaden your horizons and have fun finding friends in a new city. You can easily find lots of interesting cultural events by checking your local newspapers or the official website of your new city.
From concerts to music and art festivals, there are plenty of public experiences that offer a unique atmosphere and a chance to make new friends who are also curious about and open to learning about other cultures.
Don’t be shy about going to these activities alone. Push past your comfort zone and strike up a conversation with someone new!
11. Find Spiritual Communities to Meet New People
Whether you are Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or none of the above, finding a local group of people who practice spirituality in ways similar to you is an excellent way to meet new people.
By joining these communities, you can find support and comfort in your beliefs while also building new relationships with others with whom you share a spiritual connection. This is a great way to deepen your spiritual practice and grow in your spiritual journey.
12. Toastmasters Is a Favorite Way to Make New Friends
Toastmasters International, a non-profit organization that helps individuals develop their communication and leadership skills through public speaking, is one of my favorite ways to meet interesting new friends of all ages and walks of life.
It is, by design, a supportive community that encourages personal growth and connection with others who are also striving for self-improvement.
13. Join a Language Group to Create New Friends
Consider the friend-making benefits of joining language groups. Of course, this advice is particularly relevant if you relocate to a new country where a different language is spoken. However, it can also be applicable when you want to learn a new language for any reason.
Language learning groups offer not only improvement in language skills but also a supportive and social environment. There’s nothing better than learning and bonding by engaging in conversations with a mix of native speakers and fellow language learners.
14. Go Online To Meet New People
Technology provides us with numerous ways to meet people regardless of where you live and, believe it or not, there are some pretty great mobile apps (including some of the most popular dating apps) that can help you make friends!
One of the best known examples is Bumble BFF, which is an extension of the popular dating app, Bumble. This app allows you to swipe through potential friends in your area and start a conversation with those who catch your interest.
Another popular option is Meetup, which connects people through common interests and activities. You can join groups based on your hobbies or attend events organized by other members.
Here’s an article from Cosmo that reviews these and other great apps in more detail.
I'm Dr. Angela Caveney. I'm a Clinical Psychologist, Neuropsychologist, Founder of The Trybe Women's Social Club and leader of the Midlife Reimagined Mastermind.
If you are interested in learning more about the Mastermind or in creating a community of your own, reach out to me at angela@the-trybe.com to start the conversation.
